Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Proper Story
Hello all of you fresh little whippersnappers. I'd just like to clear up some confusion about what happened yesterday. I just want to reassure you that there was not, as was rumored by a post created by computer malfunction, a large force of Confederate soldiers and thirteenth-century European cavalry that entered the blog. Any reports that you had that said this happened are wrong. And also anyone who says that the Highland Sage was leading them is flat out wrong. Besides, even if such a force did happen to break into blog territory, I'm sure my minions would have no trouble dispatching them. so not to worry my poppets, I have and will retain complete control of this blog for a long time. That will be all for now. Look for a great post of my recipe for liver and onions sometime next weeks. until then, this is Suessir, signing off.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Chatter
*Beep*
/-/Blog posting tied into chatter network area 2 of blog/-/ engaging chatter/-/ /+/ chatter online /+/
\-\ in sector five. Repeat, perimeter alert; mixed era forces led by cloaked figure entering blog territory in sector five. Responding with normal security measures. \-\
/-/ engaging perimeter intercept drones/-/ /+/ Drones engaged/+/ transferring to direct command drone feed chatter/+/
\-\ roughly two hundred and thirty bodies reporting, more entering. Armed with primitive breach loading firearms. In formation and uniform standard to that of 1860s Confederate States of America army. Danger assessment: minimal. We are detected. They are moving in battle array. Projectile shields raised. Arming anti-riot weapons. *Cracrack* Incoming fire, analyzing type: lead projectiles encased in energy sheath. *Boom* *Crash* Units 1-3 heavy damage, unit 4 destroyed, units 5 & 6 light damage, units 7-14 moderate damage. Ordering return fire. *BRAM*. Return fire only 30% of expected effectiveness. Opponents firing again. *Crack* Unit 8 destroyed. *Crack* Initiating skirmish procedure. *BRAM* *Crack* *CraCrackCrack* *Bram* *Crack* Command unit taken heavy damage. Units 5 & 11 inoperative. Ordering full attack measures *Crack* ordering *Crack* *BOOM!!!*
/-/ feed terminated. Cutting into chatter at observation post seven, sector five for continued information /-/ /+/ Chatter link unsuccessful. /+/ /-/Attempting alert of computer at level 1, central sector. /-/ /+/ Link is unsuccessful. /+/ \-\proximity alert \-\ \-\proximity alert\-\
/-/calculating danger level. Moving to back up current operations to
BOOM!!!!
rtu/-/yu\+//\/\hsui+/ro-\auug---------------------------------------
End Transmission
/-/Blog posting tied into chatter network area 2 of blog/-/ engaging chatter/-/ /+/ chatter online /+/
\-\ in sector five. Repeat, perimeter alert; mixed era forces led by cloaked figure entering blog territory in sector five. Responding with normal security measures. \-\
/-/ engaging perimeter intercept drones/-/ /+/ Drones engaged/+/ transferring to direct command drone feed chatter/+/
\-\ roughly two hundred and thirty bodies reporting, more entering. Armed with primitive breach loading firearms. In formation and uniform standard to that of 1860s Confederate States of America army. Danger assessment: minimal. We are detected. They are moving in battle array. Projectile shields raised. Arming anti-riot weapons. *Cracrack* Incoming fire, analyzing type: lead projectiles encased in energy sheath. *Boom* *Crash* Units 1-3 heavy damage, unit 4 destroyed, units 5 & 6 light damage, units 7-14 moderate damage. Ordering return fire. *BRAM*. Return fire only 30% of expected effectiveness. Opponents firing again. *Crack* Unit 8 destroyed. *Crack* Initiating skirmish procedure. *BRAM* *Crack* *CraCrackCrack* *Bram* *Crack* Command unit taken heavy damage. Units 5 & 11 inoperative. Ordering full attack measures *Crack* ordering *Crack* *BOOM!!!*
/-/ feed terminated. Cutting into chatter at observation post seven, sector five for continued information /-/ /+/ Chatter link unsuccessful. /+/ /-/Attempting alert of computer at level 1, central sector. /-/ /+/ Link is unsuccessful. /+/ \-\proximity alert \-\ \-\proximity alert\-\
/-/calculating danger level. Moving to back up current operations to
BOOM!!!!
rtu/-/yu\+//\/\hsui+/ro-\auug---------------------------------------
End Transmission
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
On the Posting Floor
Hey everyone, it's me, the Highland Sage. I've taken control of the posting floor, but I don't know how long I can hold it. Suessir and his minions will know I'm here any minute. I just wanted to tell you I'm going to a far off place. When I return, I'll have re-enforcements enough to re-take the blog. (BBBRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH) Uh oh, sounds like a bomber.
(BOOM!!!!!)
(EXPLOSION)
I better get outta here before- (thshough! grung!) boy, that was close! later. (BOOM!) 0953 q6 46nui yrurn aotv2062. 09ra gn v m02us ngvwa 3vaww0 v0w3v 7563fn ajskr 20shd 8vn! duwi3 su33n-
(BOOM!)
(BOOM!!!!!)
(EXPLOSION)
I better get outta here before- (thshough! grung!) boy, that was close! later. (BOOM!) 0953 q6 46nui yrurn aotv2062. 09ra gn v m02us ngvwa 3vaww0 v0w3v 7563fn ajskr 20shd 8vn! duwi3 su33n-
(BOOM!)
-End Transmission
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Next Post
Hello my poppets. Suessir here again. I'm quite glad for another post. Now, I have just the thing to tell you, it's about the proper way to fix sausages when they snap. To start you just, (crackle, static) hey, what's going on?!? (crackle, static)
Hellooooooooo Suessir! Oh, don't look so surprised, do you really think you could keep me in there forever?
Quite honestly yes.
Well you sure couldn't! I'm the Highland Sage, baby! And I'm here to tell you I'm out, and I'm not going down without a fight.
You'll regret this. I have minions.
We'll just see about that. And while I'm here, I'd like to say something to all my loyal fans out there. I just wanna let you know I'm taking this blog back, no matter what stands in my way! And remember, life is good, even when- (crackle, spoit!)
Take that you Sage! This is my blog now. Ugh, this can't be happening. I need to go. I will post for you all later.
Hellooooooooo Suessir! Oh, don't look so surprised, do you really think you could keep me in there forever?
Quite honestly yes.
Well you sure couldn't! I'm the Highland Sage, baby! And I'm here to tell you I'm out, and I'm not going down without a fight.
You'll regret this. I have minions.
We'll just see about that. And while I'm here, I'd like to say something to all my loyal fans out there. I just wanna let you know I'm taking this blog back, no matter what stands in my way! And remember, life is good, even when- (crackle, spoit!)
Take that you Sage! This is my blog now. Ugh, this can't be happening. I need to go. I will post for you all later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)