Big Bief Batch Discovered in Highlands!

Dateline, The Highlands- Have you ever eaten bief for dinner? We're not exactly sure what it is, but a team of researchers here at the Sage Research Institute of Technology (SRIT) is attempting to find out more about this strange form of meat after a large batch was discovered late Friday night near the home of the Sage.

Bief, a meat that is found precooked in pile on the ground in the forest, has been drawing more attention from the international research community in recent years, as a possible substitute, for frozen dinners.

"Bief is a very strange substance." said Wames Jillis, head of the research team investigating the find at SRIT. "It really is big. It's a really big find." When asked what the origin of the bief deposit was, he said: "It's very strange. When the cows get near the rocks with grass around them, they eat the grass, and then they explode. So we don't really know whether it's the cow or the rocks that make the meat, we do know that when we find it, it's REALLY cooked." When asked what the bief tasted like, Jillis responded: "It actually tastes like chicken."

Thomas Nathan, a SRIT student working on the find, was asked how he felt it would contribute to the future of international meat research. "This is so big!" he said. "I mean, it's probably the biggest thing since Turducken!"

Though this has generated a great stir in the global meat research community, it's not yet sure how far its impact will be felt.

"I zefinitely zink it vill ave an eencredeeble eempact on ze meat industry in zee next zeveral years" Said Sven Svenson, head of the International Meat Industries Board (IMIB), when questioned about whether or not meat industry would be effected.

So, as the world ponders the future of bief, it is safe to say that this find is going to be very beneficial to mankind's understanding of this strange substance. And until we know more, keep your cows away from rocks with grass on them!